The Smoking Guns

I was browsing through the Central Scientist Database when I came across these incriminating out of context partial Email snippets:

"...we need to use [scientist's name deleted]'s Nature trick to hide the decline [in global temperature]..."

"...did you see [scientist's name deleted]...passed...out...on the...lab bench...?"

"...vaccines...autism...cause..."

"...and if the LHC is started before...Good Bye, Earl."

"Gravity is...such a load...of...[expletive]...we need to make sure that the public...won't just fly off of the Earth..."

"Can you make it to [scientist's name deleted]'s birDarwinismthday party on Sunday [the Sabbath]?"

"I can't make it to the [conspiracy conclave] this spring. Are you going to the poster session?"

Need I say more??

When I'm a Consultant...

Your company should pay me to consult because when I'm a consultant...

The makers of Nutella and engineers at the pretzel company will be locked in a room until I can snack without looking like I've been finger painting with my own shit.


The plow drivers at CDOT will at least wait until there is snow in the 24 hour forecast to "clear" the road.

All beverages sold at Wal Mart will be spiked with birth control.


The manufacture of red and white candy canes that have a flavor other than mint will be punishable by death.

Drum circles will be reclassified as riotous assemblies and will be dispersed with extreme prejudice.

PLEASE LET THIS BE REAL

Are you a rough rida'?

Blue Friday (a.k.a. How FRR Got His Psyche Back)

So, I've been a bit busy lately. But I'm working my way back in.

If there were a hell it would look like a mall. A mall full of fat land developers and their swarms of kids. And the only food would be a Popeye's and a Chick-fil-A.

Rather than join the Black Friday hoards on their annual quest to spend as little as possible on their friends and families, I embarked on an expedition. Too often we neglect our local climbing areas in our search for novelty. I live a 15 minute bike ride from one of the best bouldering areas in the west and I rarely visit anymore.

Bluebird

The goal was to send as many problems as possible in a single day. Good planning, an early start, and superior physical conditioning would be critical to success but I tried anyway. I rolled out of bed around 11:00 and dragged my ass to the boulders. When I got to the Piano Boulders I found warm weather, blue skies, and a tiny bag of white powder. It's good to know that the people of FoCo have not forgotten this beautiful natural area.

Smack Ya Face?

After slogging through a ton of problems and hopelessly flailing on one old project, I headed to Rotary Park. It's amazing how quickly beta flies from my brain. I made it up most of the problems on muscle memory alone. When the dust settled I had 41 unique problems amounting to 38 V-points on my tick list. Great day. I guess I'm not dead yet.

Making Shit Up

I want one!

I guess that I'd better give up this science thing.